2/14/2005- Instead, We Got Cavemen. Pff...

There's this commercial out for some new SUV. Because God knows the world needs a new SUV. It's this young couple looking at the car, and the guy really wants it but the wife's not sure, so the guy keeps telling her all this stuff that the car can do and all the high ratings it's gotten, and she's still not convinced.

So the guy rolls his eyes and says, "It's the perfect size for that family we've been talking about," and the girl gets all happy and hugs him and starts talking about how much seating room there is and the guy just looks so disgusted and upset.So this guy lies to his wife about wanting children SO HE CAN BUY A TRUCK!!!!!!

I nominate this clown for "Worst Person Ever Depicted On Television Ever." Who's with me?

(Responses follow.)

Jen: I laughed out loud at this. Because women buy cars based solely on whether or not they'll be able to fit all the children they're just dying to have.

I see your nomination but I raise you the guy whose wife finds a pair of underwear and asks him whose they are and he says, "My sister's," and laughs, uncomfortably and the VO says, "Have a bad poker face?"

A bad poker face? He's cheating on his wife!! God damn, that commercial makes me sick.

Me: There should be a commercial where those two get together to go bowling with Hitler and Ghengis Khan, and they all talk about what they've been doing, and at the end Hitler and Khan look at the two guys and say, "Man, that's fucked up."

Then Khan eats them.

And it turns out to be a Geico commercial.

Jen: Khan: I have some good news for you boys.
Cheating guy: You're not going to eat us?
Khan: Oh, no, I am. I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.(Hitler tents his fingers.)

Me: Gecko dances by."Everybody was kung-fu fighting! Do-da-da-da-do-do-do-do-do! Those cats were fast as lightni-ing! Do-da-da-da-do-do-do-do-do!"

Then Khan bludgeons the SUV guy, hard cut to Geico logo.

Jen: I see it more like, the same audio from the commercial, where he comes in dancing, sees Khan bludgeoning them, slowly stops singing and backs out of the bowling alley."Those cats were fast as... light.... ning."

Me: Sounds good. Why aren't we in advertising?

Jen: Because the world needs us to sit online all day and crack wise at each other all day.Or, at least, that's what I've made myself believe.

Me: Employers: "Brendan, Jen, we'd really like to give you guys legitimate, rewarding, high paying jobs, but if the two of you don't go back and forth on Instant Messenger all day talking about TV and annoying people, well... then the terrorists have already won."

Brendan & Jen: (hang heads, walk away)